Memorial Service

On Saturday, our family held a memorial service for my mother at my father's house. We has 44 persons in attendance, most relatives of mine, ranging in age from 18 to 93. My little sister had invited a retired pastor from her church to perform a casual service, with me reading a eulogy which consisted of the long version of the obituary we had written last March. As folks arrived, food was laid out in the house, and we all stood around greeting each other. I remarked to my wife before the service that I thought I knew everyone there. Most people did not, since they were either from one side of the family or the other. My dad knew them all as well, but my sisters did not. For example, they did not know two nice young men with whom my dad and I had gone on a backpack trip about 7 years ago; they were grandchildren of his cousin.

I decided to introduce the pastor to kick things off, and the service began. He opened with a prayer, I read the eulogy, he read passages from the bible and led us in a discussion of our memories of my mother. It was very heartwarming to hear the fond memories my relatives had of my mother, and how much they appreciated the opportunities that had had over the years to visit my parents. Some had stayed and worked on the farm for many months in their youth as a respite from school or as a time to ponder their own futures. Most marveled at her ability to prepare dinners for 6-10 persons, day after day. Shortly after it began, two more people arrived, and I struggled to remember their names. At the end of this, my next older sister came forward to thank everyone for their kind and heartfelt comments, and then my wife blurted out a request that I introduce everyone. Me and my big mouth! But several encouraged me to try it. So I introduced each person by name, family, and relationship to my mother or father. I needed a little help with several, including the last two to arrive, who were not relatives, but a mother and son who owned the vacation property across the road. I figured out who they were and remembered their last names, but was only close on their first names (I said Tom instead of Bob, and Deedee instead of Ceci). After that was about 4 hours of eating and talking, a dozen conversations going at once, all of us trying to catch up with each other.

My dad and his cousins, all in their late 80's (I think they look much younger) (photo by Diane).